Saturday, 7 March 2009

I'm Miserable

I'm so miserable at the moment I seem to have this constant rage firing through my body and just have no patience for anyone or anything.

Maybe it's because im trying to do several things at once, and then feel a failure or loser when I have not managed to do a certain task.

I cant sit down, literally....I cant sit down and watch a tv programme, i just cant do it! maybe thats why I dont watch films. My attention span is as small as a grape although my brain is much larger!

No one seems to get my sarcastic humour, they take everything as an insult im sure of it.

So im a misery guts at the moment, not that I am feeling down as im not sad just in a deep though process!

That poor Jade Goody, I just cant stop thinking about her, (See post before this one) shes in a real bad way now and had her and her 2 lil boys baptised at the church in hospital as she is that ill she cant even move anymore, the cancer has pretty much over taken her body. What an awful disease cancer is...

So my thoughts are with her alot and hoping maybe a miracle may happen, just the slightest glimmer of hope, but there is no chance the news states its spread to her brain, bowel liver she was only diagnosed it August 2008 and it just seems so quick and lethal.

Always go for a smear....

Saturday, 21 February 2009

Terminal Cancer At 27!

She started out on Big Brother many years ago and carved a career out of being in the spotlight, now has 2 sons aged 4 and 5 and has separated from the dad for many years but has a boyfriend who is only 21 and who she is marrying tomorrow as she only has a matter of weeks to live.

She has Advanced Cervical Cancer and this was diagnosed August 2008, shes had chemotherapy but its too late, 8 days ago her world came crashing down after an emergency operation which was a sucess on her bowel that was blocked with a tumour,they found her cancer has spread to her liver and groin and is spreading so rapidly.

Then she was told what everyone dreads "There is nothing more we can do for you"! She asked how long she had left and they said 1-2 months.

So last monday she started to plan her wedding which is being held tomorrow. She is said to be making around £1million from the wedding which will be going to her boys so they will be financially secure.

I feel so sad for this girl, she is the same age as me, has 2 sons just like me and is being robbed of seeing her sons growing up, and her poor little boys are going to be left with no mother.

If you have been avoiding that smear test please dont! Go and get it checked out, as im sure she thought this was never going to happen to her....but it has

Monday, 26 January 2009


YOUR A WANKER was one bit rant that came out of my mouth today while driving, I wont go into all the details as I really cannot be arsed but he was WANKER and i shouted at him.

God what has got into me, I would never do such a thing!

I just cant stand people being so freaking stupid on the road, so ignorant and just thinking about themselves. It doesnt take much to let someone out or let them go first

Our roads are so congested and small its no wonder I dont hit anything

anyway im pissed off

Sunday, 25 January 2009

All about BRITAIN

Some facts about Britain


Thursday, 22 January 2009

House Improvements Needed

OK my house needs a big makeover since we moved in August 2005 we have done some improvements but nothing major infact heres a huge list of what needs doing

My windows are rotting, there moldy if i dont wipe them down and my back sliding door is actually eroding, estimated cost to get replaced £5K

We have an old boiler its in Jays room which im not happy about but it costs too much to move, We have boiler insurance and have had to call them out 3 x since April 08 and they have done 3 repairs, they said its ok but we really need to get a new one due to safety estimated cost £1700

Our bathroom omg its nasty its moldy its not a nice place to wash and i want it replacing
Estimated cost £1500-2500

including cooker/fridge freezer, dishwasher average cost £900 for goods
for kictchen probably about £4,000 min

I need new carpets throughout but this is just the last thing that will get done

so i think i will get a few window quotes in the next month see what they say and try and save some money towards the finance we will prob have to get out


In 2008 we had a burst water pipe in our back room so we called johns dad out and he had to dig right down and repair the pipe, we are lucky he sorted this for us, we have house insurance so we got a new carpet

Also we had a big mold issue in the living room, which meant all the plaster had to be taken off, lots of layers of different crap to stop the damp, a damp injection course, everything replasterd, papered and painted. It took from OCT 08 to christmas eve to get back in the room and the plaster has just finished so the final paper and paint will be done in the next few weeks so it will finally be finished. We got a quote from a builder of £3000 to do this but we did it for about £500 with Johns dad doing it so he has saved us alot of money, however we need a new carpet putting in as he put one in the year before but he didnt fit it right so its a bit of a mess ...but hey ho cant have everything

Charlie needs his room doing next too with all the wallpaper taken off, a radiator put in with a plug socket and new window as its as moldy as hell thats why he is in our bedroom but he cant stay in there much longer....


Dont Know Why I Bother.

You ever wake in the morning, come downstairs greeted with washing up, clutter and general mess?

Even though you cleaned the day previously for hours and thought your house didnt look that bad but somehow it never seems to be clean and tidy.

I like to think my house is pretty tidy and I hoover like 1x a day downstairs sometimes 2x if the kids have been running around creating mess.

Im living in prehistoric times where I dont have a dishwasher i wash everything by hand so im washing up like 4x a day, which is ok, Its alright however when I do get a new kitchen I will plan to get it fitted in somehow. As at the moment there is no space to have one pumbed in...ASS

I finally got a dryer though early 2008! I know, I know your thinking WTF? Especially if your american as you guys all seem to have dryers there,. Us british we are use to hanging our stuff out on a washing line, Although Its a bit stupid considering it rains here so much.

But oh a dryer it makes your clothes all soft and you dont have to iron, I dont care how much it costs me in electric!! I hate ironing and cant remember the last time i actually ironed anything at all! It makes life alot easier not to have to iron as its tedious and in my experience a waste of time.

When my other half leaves the house in the morning its like he has created a little explosion of mess, ironing board left out (yes he irons his own stuff) although not very well...iron left out (ok its hot) and coffee cup and breakfast left out, smelly socks on the bedroom floor with smelly underpants. Once he managed to leave them next to the wash basket, have no idea why he didnt just put them in!
Oh and when he gets back, same again, clothes left all over the place, as he put his pjs on
my sparkling kitchen ends up a mess after packaging and spills are all over the unit.
He drinks most nights so left over beer cans wine bottles and such are scattered all over....

So every day is the same with the house hold duties

Ive pretty much given up on my bathroom, I try and clean it but it looks nasty anyway as its so old and worn out!

My bedroom needs a good sort out.

See next post of what i need done to my house to make it standard normal!!

Saturday, 17 January 2009

You are what you eat!

I have never been one for fad diets or eating healthy.

Infact I remember when I was a kid spending all my dinner money on mars bars, at one stage in my life I was eating like 5 a day. I did alot of sport so seem to burn it off pretty good.

My eating habits are not too bad Ive cut out sugary fizzy drinks only having the odd diet coke/pepsi max I find the normal full sugar coke now like drinking surup...urghh

For breakfast which I only occassionally miss I have Raisin toast or normal brown or white toast although I find white bread not as tasty as brown I love the stuff with seeds in it!! Its gorgeous and great with some margarine on.

Ive never been fond of butter and always go for marge over it, everyone has always thought that a bit weird.

I love pure orange juice not the stuff from concentrate though and have some of that every day

Im really not good with eating my 5 a day infact im pretty terrible so im trying to train my thought process infact ive done it so far with the white bread to brown and the diet coke i barely drink anymore just because I dont fancy it.

I eat what I feel like eating my favourite things are soft moist cakes mmmmm

Ive always felt a bit guilty with eating meat and left part of my meal while eating it so am cutting alot out of my diet although I wont be labelled a vegetarian as I do still want to eat meat just less of it

Also I feel really bad eating chickens that I know have never seen the light of day, that is something that always bugs me when eating chicken so from now on I only eat happy chickens :-)

I tend to eat alot of meat with most meals so Im looking for alternative substitutes and I dont like the look of quorn, pretend looking meat urghhh

So while im typing this im just finishing my meal which John has made its an indian jalfrezzi sauce with fresh brocolli and white rice and its gorgeous also have a nann bread on the side


Sunday, 11 January 2009

Yay where Im going on Holiday

This is where I am staying from Monday To Friday next week

Im going to make sure I take lots of pictures this time.

We went in September last year too but we stayed in executive lakeside lodge which was a bit worrying with a 2 year old especially when he went missing for a few minutes. Also the one we are staying in is more modern and my style rather then the old style which is this

So I think I will prefer the one we have chosen this time, there isnt too much difference in the price

We are going alot cheaper this time as its January but Center Parcs is great its like a holiday park place with lodges with all mod cons, (unlike camping) and has starbucks, resturants, and a sub tropical swimming pool which is free to use.

It also has a spa where you can get oodles of treatments and such! (not that I can afford it this time) might get my nails done but still have to see..

This is an image gallery of the place

Last time I Went quad biking which was wicked, Archery was good, Ten Pin bowling which we are going to do again this time, and we also hired bikes but it was a bit arkward with small children so we are not hiring bikes this time.

Will write about my holiday and post lots of pics when I get back

Saturday, 10 January 2009

My Babies First Pee!

Today I screamed "YAY YOU DONE A WEE IN THE POTTY" infact I nearly cried lol, I know its hilarious but it really is a big deal especially when I havent really pushed him to pee in it. Mainly because im lazy and kids do things when they want to do them, you never see kids over 5 in nappies do you? well I never have!

Ive mentioned it every now and again "do you want to wee?"

HIS REPLY "no I not wike wit" (no I not like it)

so this evening like any other evening I was chasing him to get his clothes off, and as soon as I whipped that nappy off his ass he said " I NEED TO WEEEE" and he was hunting for the potty, so he ran in the other room totally naked lol and stood like a man and looked down, then I heard it, the sound of pee hitting the plastic potty! I tried not to distract him by shouting YAY YOU DONE A PEE IN A POTTY" but i did!

This big smile took over his face as he looked so happy that he had mastered having a pee in the potty, he kept looking at it, carrying it around, ( me secretly thinking please dont drop it as il have pee all over the place" )

I tried to call John (out at the pub) couldnt get hold of him so we called Grandma (his mum) and she made a big song and dance out of it aswell!

So we all made a big deal of him having a pee and he seemed to like the idea

Got hold of John half and hour later where the excitement was wearing thin

So my Big lad is nearly 3 and I know some kids are dry alot earlier, but we are in a cold country so cant just have him running around all the time with no clothes on, and also kids do it when they want too...

The problem then I faced was getting him to get into his nappy for night time, he didnt want to put it on...but I said tomorrow you can wee in the potty as much as you like! he seemed excited by that thought so off to bed we went, taking the potty of pee with us so we could flush it down the toilet

We are away on Monday to Friday so are going to try and get him out of nappies next week!

I think once there ready there ready though and I really do feel that he is big enough not to be in nappies now

We danced around the room and I have never in all my life

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

My Day Today

Today is Tuesday which means I dont actually have to do anything in particular now Jay is going to nursery 3 days a week (Mon, Wed, Fri )

So I laid in bed with Charlie, managed to keep him there till 9am, went downstairs and organised breakfast, its all a bit of chaos in the mornings as Ive got to prepare Jays Breakfast which is normally toast, juice, do his nappy get him dressed and I have to do Charlies too, baby cereal and his milk, and while doing all this Im trying to make myself a coffee.

An hour or so later I wonder what shop shall I go to?

The local one which is a 3 min walk

Drive to the mini supermarket or walk about 15 min walk

Drive to big supermarket?

I didnt actually know which one I was going to go to till I got all our coats on and decided to take the buggy to the mini supermarket I needed a good walk anyway and it gets Jay out so he cant cause mischief, I walk to the cashpoint get some cash out and head past another mini supermarket but as I was walking closer to it I suddenly thought NO better not as im crap with a buggy and tons of people so Il walk to the next its alot quieter.

As I was heading towards the 2nd Mini supermarket Jay started to Boo, I think its because his hands were cold and he was feeling it now, He wont wear gloves so theres not much I can do about it, he continues to scream louder and louder as we head through the doors, everyone is looking around and I just want the ground to swallow me up, While Charlie is sitting in the back of the pushchair being as quiet as anything, infact I dont even think anyone knows I have a 2nd child half the time he is that good.

Trying to think of what to get, Margarine, milk, brocolli, urmmm malteasers, yep thats it as i head to the checkout as quick as I can, and jays still crying his head off

As I leave the shop hes still at it, but at least im outside now

He doesnt shut up all the way home he gets louder when we get in the house and starts hitting himself lol, I try to console him, asking him what the matter is but he cant seem to tell me so we have a cuddle as Charlie just continues to sit there being amused by a ball

I gave him some calpol as I notice his ears are red, I dont know if it was the cold weather maybe it gave him pains in his ears or something but after 20 mins I calmed him down

So lunch time comes...feed charlie, put him to bed

Let jay scoff on the sofa then he goes to bed

Put baby monitor on and get me something to eat

10 mins later charlies booing

Run upstairs put dummy in

few mins later he is booing

Run upstairs put dummy in

few mins later he is booing

Ok run upstairs bring him down, can smell Jays had a poo

Urghh run downstairs get nappy and wipes

Charlie crying still

Give charlie a cuddle and he starts to fall asleep

So take him upstairs and try and settle him. he falls asleep

Go back downstairs ALONE

Now I have to call the Inland Revenue to get my tax details as I lost them so I can do my tax return by the end of the month

Urghh paper everywhere for a couple of hours

Charlie wakes some time later I bring him down he plays with paper as i continue

Get Jay up and try and amuse him and stop him from sitting on charlie, train set comes out

Time to make food

Peel veggies boil and blend for charlie while trying to keep Jay amused and well behaved

Charlie in his jumperoo amused

Make Jays food

Charlie eats as Jay watches tv in his highchair

Charlie cries as food too hot and he wants his milk

Charlie eats has milk,

Get jays food which is nearly burning

Eat my bake beans on toast (its all I have time for)

Someone knocks on the door while im eating - I ignore it

Run upstairs get bath on for Charlie, bathe charlie put him in his cot

come downstairs wash up all the dishes from earlier

Give Jay his bath

Put all the clothes away that I havent managed to yet in relevant places

Put Jay to bed

Right its 50 mins before I start work

Have a quick shower/bath run downstairs and finish tidying up all toys and crap

10 mins left before I start work, so make coffee and plonk my ass down im working till midnight... with an hour off at 9pm where I will then put wet clothes in dryer

The end!

Sunday, 4 January 2009

Ive been on my Wii Fit

Last night at 10pm I thought "what shall i do?" so decided to dust off my Wii Fit, Ive not used it really since I got it a couple of months ago, mainly because I was in that small room although that was an excuse not to excercise too.

So I jumped on and I dont pay attention to the weigh in and BMI as I have a big squishy carpet

I did 40 odd mins or so, I broke into a sweat so hopefully If i do a bit of that every day over a month il lose some ilbs or tone up or something, I just hate my stomach, after 2 children im going to have to face facts its never gonna be like it was before, but I hate the roll that is visable when I wear clothes, Im a size 10 its hardly huge but I just need to get rid of the roll and Il feel alot better.

Thankfully its still Winter and I have a good 4-5 Months to lose this extra Roll of flab

So Im going to make a commitment, at least 30 mins a day on the wii fit

I also went for a walk today too with the buggy with Jay Charlie and John, John was reluctant to go having been out last night on the piss, but wanted to buy some burgers from the shop with loads of cheese, I told him he needs to stop eating so crap and he is lucky he isnt as fat as he could be...

Im very excited at losing the flab now!!

I have to work an hour and the kids are in bed so fingers crossed il be able to do it for 30 mins while they are still asleep later

I should take pics really shouldnt I? see if you can tell in a month or something

ohhh how exciting

Saturday, 3 January 2009


Ok Ive had this Wii for over a year now, only played it probably 10-20 times, It's great when people come round with all the party games etc.

My lovely friend Tammy pur....chased some lovely amazon Vouchers for me at Xmas so I bought MarioKart for the Wii with an extra wheel so me and John can play it together.

Its brillant!!!

You can go online and play people all over the world, which made me even more excited as my friend Tammy has a Wii too so if she got the game we could play Wii together! How exciting.

Im not brillant, I must admit,I cuss alot throughout the game,knowing some smart quick 12 year old is probably gonna kick my ass but hey its fun anyway.

Its great as we have friends across the road, they have a baby a month younger then Charlie (8mths) and we have our two that are in bed the latest 630pm and we cant ever all hook up in the evenings really anymore so we could still play wii together if they got the game too

Anyway it was a ball ache trying to set up my wii to connect with tammys, you have to put in your friends console number so you can exchange miis etc its pretty good!

I think it took me and Tammy and hour to figure out how to do it and im sure she will write a blog entry about it lol

Anyway im gonna go i got another blog to write as ive kinda been ignoring it