I'm Miserable

I'm so miserable at the moment I seem to have this constant rage firing through my body and just have no patience for anyone or anything.

Maybe it's because im trying to do several things at once, and then feel a failure or loser when I have not managed to do a certain task.

I cant sit down, literally....I cant sit down and watch a tv programme, i just cant do it! maybe thats why I dont watch films. My attention span is as small as a grape although my brain is much larger!

No one seems to get my sarcastic humour, they take everything as an insult im sure of it.

So im a misery guts at the moment, not that I am feeling down as im not sad just in a deep though process!

That poor Jade Goody, I just cant stop thinking about her, (See post before this one) shes in a real bad way now and had her and her 2 lil boys baptised at the church in hospital as she is that ill she cant even move anymore, the cancer has pretty much over taken her body. What an awful disease cancer is...

So my thoughts are with her alot and hoping maybe a miracle may happen, just the slightest glimmer of hope, but there is no chance the news states its spread to her brain, bowel liver she was only diagnosed it August 2008 and it just seems so quick and lethal.

Always go for a smear....

Terminal Cancer At 27!

She started out on Big Brother many years ago and carved a career out of being in the spotlight, now has 2 sons aged 4 and 5 and has separated from the dad for many years but has a boyfriend who is only 21 and who she is marrying tomorrow as she only has a matter of weeks to live.

She has Advanced Cervical Cancer and this was diagnosed August 2008, shes had chemotherapy but its too late, 8 days ago her world came crashing down after an emergency operation which was a sucess on her bowel that was blocked with a tumour,they found her cancer has spread to her liver and groin and is spreading so rapidly.

Then she was told what everyone dreads "There is nothing more we can do for you"! She asked how long she had left and they said 1-2 months.

So last monday she started to plan her wedding which is being held tomorrow. She is said to be making around £1million from the wedding which will be going to her boys so they will be financially secure.

I feel so sad for this girl, she is the same age as me, has 2 sons just like me and is being robbed of seeing her sons growing up, and her poor little boys are going to be left with no mother.

If you have been avoiding that smear test please dont! Go and get it checked out, as im sure she thought this was never going to happen to her....but it has

YOUR A WANKER

YOUR A WANKER was one bit rant that came out of my mouth today while driving, I wont go into all the details as I really cannot be arsed but he was WANKER and i shouted at him.

God what has got into me, I would never do such a thing!

I just cant stand people being so freaking stupid on the road, so ignorant and just thinking about themselves. It doesnt take much to let someone out or let them go first

Our roads are so congested and small its no wonder I dont hit anything

anyway im pissed off

All about BRITAIN

Some facts about Britain

ITS COLD WET AND EXPENSIVE
THATS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW

House Improvements Needed

OK my house needs a big makeover since we moved in August 2005 we have done some improvements but nothing major infact heres a huge list of what needs doing

NEW WINDOWS AND DOOR
My windows are rotting, there moldy if i dont wipe them down and my back sliding door is actually eroding, estimated cost to get replaced £5K

NEW BOILER
We have an old boiler its in Jays room which im not happy about but it costs too much to move, We have boiler insurance and have had to call them out 3 x since April 08 and they have done 3 repairs, they said its ok but we really need to get a new one due to safety estimated cost £1700

NEW BATHROOM
Our bathroom omg its nasty its moldy its not a nice place to wash and i want it replacing
Estimated cost £1500-2500

NEW KITCHEN
including cooker/fridge freezer, dishwasher average cost £900 for goods
for kictchen probably about £4,000 min

I need new carpets throughout but this is just the last thing that will get done

so i think i will get a few window quotes in the next month see what they say and try and save some money towards the finance we will prob have to get out

WHAT DOES YOUR HOUSE NEED DOING TO IT?

In 2008 we had a burst water pipe in our back room so we called johns dad out and he had to dig right down and repair the pipe, we are lucky he sorted this for us, we have house insurance so we got a new carpet

Also we had a big mold issue in the living room, which meant all the plaster had to be taken off, lots of layers of different crap to stop the damp, a damp injection course, everything replasterd, papered and painted. It took from OCT 08 to christmas eve to get back in the room and the plaster has just finished so the final paper and paint will be done in the next few weeks so it will finally be finished. We got a quote from a builder of £3000 to do this but we did it for about £500 with Johns dad doing it so he has saved us alot of money, however we need a new carpet putting in as he put one in the year before but he didnt fit it right so its a bit of a mess ...but hey ho cant have everything

Charlie needs his room doing next too with all the wallpaper taken off, a radiator put in with a plug socket and new window as its as moldy as hell thats why he is in our bedroom but he cant stay in there much longer....

IL WILL POST PICS WHEN MY LIVING ROOM IS DONE

Dont Know Why I Bother.

You ever wake in the morning, come downstairs greeted with washing up, clutter and general mess?

Even though you cleaned the day previously for hours and thought your house didnt look that bad but somehow it never seems to be clean and tidy.

I like to think my house is pretty tidy and I hoover like 1x a day downstairs sometimes 2x if the kids have been running around creating mess.

Im living in prehistoric times where I dont have a dishwasher i wash everything by hand so im washing up like 4x a day, which is ok, Its alright however when I do get a new kitchen I will plan to get it fitted in somehow. As at the moment there is no space to have one pumbed in...ASS

I finally got a dryer though early 2008! I know, I know your thinking WTF? Especially if your american as you guys all seem to have dryers there,. Us british we are use to hanging our stuff out on a washing line, Although Its a bit stupid considering it rains here so much.

But oh a dryer it makes your clothes all soft and you dont have to iron, I dont care how much it costs me in electric!! I hate ironing and cant remember the last time i actually ironed anything at all! It makes life alot easier not to have to iron as its tedious and in my experience a waste of time.

When my other half leaves the house in the morning its like he has created a little explosion of mess, ironing board left out (yes he irons his own stuff) although not very well...iron left out (ok its hot) and coffee cup and breakfast left out, smelly socks on the bedroom floor with smelly underpants. Once he managed to leave them next to the wash basket, have no idea why he didnt just put them in!
Oh and when he gets back, same again, clothes left all over the place, as he put his pjs on
my sparkling kitchen ends up a mess after packaging and spills are all over the unit.
He drinks most nights so left over beer cans wine bottles and such are scattered all over....

So every day is the same with the house hold duties

Ive pretty much given up on my bathroom, I try and clean it but it looks nasty anyway as its so old and worn out!

My bedroom needs a good sort out.

See next post of what i need done to my house to make it standard normal!!

You are what you eat!

I have never been one for fad diets or eating healthy.

Infact I remember when I was a kid spending all my dinner money on mars bars, at one stage in my life I was eating like 5 a day. I did alot of sport so seem to burn it off pretty good.

My eating habits are not too bad Ive cut out sugary fizzy drinks only having the odd diet coke/pepsi max I find the normal full sugar coke now like drinking surup...urghh

For breakfast which I only occassionally miss I have Raisin toast or normal brown or white toast although I find white bread not as tasty as brown I love the stuff with seeds in it!! Its gorgeous and great with some margarine on.

Ive never been fond of butter and always go for marge over it, everyone has always thought that a bit weird.

I love pure orange juice not the stuff from concentrate though and have some of that every day

Im really not good with eating my 5 a day infact im pretty terrible so im trying to train my thought process infact ive done it so far with the white bread to brown and the diet coke i barely drink anymore just because I dont fancy it.

I eat what I feel like eating my favourite things are soft moist cakes mmmmm

Ive always felt a bit guilty with eating meat and left part of my meal while eating it so am cutting alot out of my diet although I wont be labelled a vegetarian as I do still want to eat meat just less of it

Also I feel really bad eating chickens that I know have never seen the light of day, that is something that always bugs me when eating chicken so from now on I only eat happy chickens :-)

I tend to eat alot of meat with most meals so Im looking for alternative substitutes and I dont like the look of quorn, pretend looking meat urghhh

So while im typing this im just finishing my meal which John has made its an indian jalfrezzi sauce with fresh brocolli and white rice and its gorgeous also have a nann bread on the side

yum